From this thought derives a feeling of anxiety more or less accurate, but very unpleasant and causes a loss of autonomy, the presence of another person becomes necessary to try to reassure.
The reasons are diverse and vary according to whether this form of anxiety affects adults or children. Anyway, more emotional bond created with the object (or person) lost (e) is stronger, this loss tends to cause an emotional void that takes unawares.
In most cases, this form of anxiety manifests through various behaviors, more or less pleasant for the environment and for itself (jealousy, anger, school dropouts, nightmares, depression, blackmail, espionage …). These reflect a refusal or difficulty to accept the absence of a loved one and the growing fear of losing what remains of benchmarks.
Sometimes, too, it may be an attempt to manipulate others to get back on its decision.
Possible impact for the child in a divorce
For example, for young children whose parents separate, sometimes sudden death of the father or the mother brings a transformation of destabilizing daily.
This misunderstanding and disillusionment with something that seemed immutable often raises concerns about the sustainability of other important emotional bonds. Particularly with respect to the parent with primary care becomes even more valuable.
The child who finds himself dealing with new fears still lacks tools to achieve adapt to unknown reality he perceives as threatening.
The intervention of an adult, and first and foremost of the parents, is essential to allow their children to walk in his understanding of what is happening while facing his fears.
Thus, the child can with his parents develop thought, which will be validated by experience, that even if mom and dad are not together, each of them continues to exist and to be present in his life, in a way that can be specified with him to restore confidence.
Hyper dependence and attachment?
It is interesting that we also find this type of challenge in animals, especially dogs. Separation anxiety, some prefer to appoint hyper attachment, easily found in an animal.
The latter, after having experienced the separation required to develop its own autonomy, was adopted by a family. It will tend to want to bind to it emotionally, but also risk of experiencing anxiety at the thought of reliving the same loss.
Once the animal is alone, anxiety arises, causing him to lose his head a little and causing it to blow off steam, not by revenge but by relief means, furniture, shoes, pillows etc.
Sensation of emptiness and separation anxiety
In adults, more separation anxiety tends to occur when, for example, a man enters the life of a woman and fills a gap in one area of his life, such as friendship.
The strength of the bond that develops and is proportional to the size of the void felt by this woman, without necessarily depend on the quality of shared moments.
In fact, sometimes just one person appears to trick a latent boredom so that attachment develops. Relational satiety printing provides satisfaction without actually meet the real needs of this woman and this man.
Separation anxiety smoldering when ready to hatch soon as one of them cease to occupy a place in the life of another. This will result in a painful awakening facing a void that previously seemed filled. But is it the purpose of a relationship: fill a void?
Vary the security sources
Despite the apparent ease and great temptation that this may represent, it is often better for lasting happiness, to devote part of his time developing different sources of emotional eating. This will fill his life in different ways, although this depends on a single person. Thus, in our example it would be a matter of developing new friendships, each partner has a life to it, with independent activities of those shared couples.
Â Become familiar with the detachment
Meanwhile, it may be appropriate for some tame separation, in the sense of failure, whether in housing, professional, social, religious, family, friends. This will encourage the acquisition of new behaviors.
By developing more confidence, autonomy will emerge and will create a satisfying emotional relationships on base instead it is based on a latent separation anxiety and a feeling that its survival is of another function.